Seasons don't die, they just fade away...

My words are empty.

Pure on the outside

I don't want to be Baalam anymore.

Sight Unseen

I want my God to be so much bigger than me.
I want to hold on to the truth.
I want to last long enough to see Good vindicated.
I want to be holy as He is holy.

I want to last beyond the breaking of the world. I want to see it repaired.

Oblivion

I long for it to never have happened. Many years on, I still cannot
bring myself to forget. Am I man, or am I beast?

Yes, the blood of Christ covers all. But like the breaking of the
world, it is still better if it had never had happened. It can be
redeemed, but never undone.

I long. My oh my, how I long and I mourn. If I feel this bad...

A cry from the cistern

God, you're doing such amazing things around the world, even here in America.  And yet it's so easy for me to forget when I become so self-absorbed, sitting in my own little corner and siphoning off a little of your glory for myself.  Is it any wonder that I'm left feeling so dry, the world feeling so cold and empty.

But You are here.  You remain.  I can't forget that.  The dead are coming to life, the blind are seeing, the prisoners are being set free.  Porn stars are coming to know freedom and life.  I have yet to see justice... but I am starting to.  I believe.  I will not give up, even though it's so easy!

I have not been holding on to the dreams you've given me for very long... dreams for justice and righteousness and the presence of God to return to us.  Yet it's already so easy to give up hope.  Lord, do not forget us!

Yet, let the revival begin in my heart.  I want to love You without reservation even when I don't see an immediate advantage in it for myself.  I want my addiction to self to end.

A minute to learn, a lifetime to master

There can be no government without an army

No army without money

No money without prosperity

No prosperity without justice and good administration.

-Ibn Qutayba

Be still, my soul, let the wind and waves be still.

Every morning I
Have a chance to rise and
Give my all.

Every afternoon I find
I have only wasted time
In light of Your awe.

Isn't love amazing
I forgot how to speak
Knowing You are here and
I am finally free.

- Jennifer Knapp, "Say Won't You Say"

I want to believe; help my unbelief!

Love will come set me free.
I do believe.

Too tired for words

God was faithful.
God is faithful.
God will be faithful.

I want to be faithful.

Refine me.
Be to me a consuming fire.
I don't want to be angry.
I don't want to be bitter.

I want to last for the Kingdom.
I want to scream and throw things.

God is faithful.

37 Days

I love ideas, but I've always been afraid of the work it takes to implement them.

(No more. No more.)

I'm so tired, but I've barely begun.

(Keep on. Keep on.)

"I never ran my train off the track, and I never lost a passenger."
-Harriet Tubman

A Trap for Fools

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

(Rudyard Kipling, "If")

Stir it Up in our Hearts, Lord

Careful. Careful.
Careless.
Daggers behind smiles, a kiss with fangs.
And I don't know why I feel so bad.
I don't know why I should feel hurt.
Or frustrated.
Or betrayed.
But I do, in small measure.

Not again, not again.
I want to turn over a new leaf.
Begin anew.
An end to failure.
But I can't look to others to tell me what I am.

Success is not mine, own up to failure.
Christ in me is to live, to die is to gain.
I cannot do what I am advised to do.
Nobody gets it, Lord please answer for me.
Please please please please please
Don't beg, just believe.

HE WILL VINDICATE.

He sets a table before me in the presence of my enemies
He anoints my head with oil
My cup overflows.

I will choose to believe.
.
.
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And all of life
It comes down
To just one thing
That's to know You
Lord Jesus
And make You known.