I haven't even left yet but I miss her already.

And a child shall lead them

Too ashamed to show my face. :(

Grace

Life resolutions:

1. Romans 16.19
2. Joshua 1.6
3. Micah 6.8
4. Isaiah 35.3-4
5. 2 Timothy 2

Because the Spirit of God works in me, and never gives up on me,
I will get there.

RVW

One day, I woke up
And I wasn't a day older
Just a year behind.

O brother, where art thou?

Lord, be my satisfaction. The future is so lonely.

Hold fast

Push through, Lord. Be victorious. May all the glory go to you. There is no defeat in Your Kingdom.

I will not fear, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

ARK

Agree, reveal, keep faithful.

LORD TRANSFORM ME. MAKE ME FIT FOR YOUR SERVICE.

There's still time left.

Psalm 69

It's humbling to realize that I am developing an international
reputation, for better or for worse. It is a little scary and puts me
in awe of God as my advocate.

The Rats

"I had the oddest dream that you were in yesterday. Long dream, a lot of weird crazy stuff happened, but you were in one of the scenes. Apparently I was in Taiwan at my house there… and there were TONS of people. Including my DC friends, my college friends, my husband's friends.. and you and your seminary friends. Not that I know your seminary friends, but that’s who they were in the dream. there was one REALLY huge and tall black guy, one short and fat white guy, and this one brunette girl, among others. Anyway, you walk into this one room where your friends were, and you started talking about how powerful you were, and how amazing you are. And then as you talked suddenly your tone took on this almost scary Satanic tone… like in the movies that have demons and Satan, that low scary loud ton they always use for Satan? And then everyone got really scared but you kept talking in that tone… and then your large tall black friend went out of the room and said he needed to unplug a lake. Apparently you all created a lake and it was time to leave so you guys had to unplug the lake. So I’m watching this HUGE whirlpool lake swirling, and all this trash and garbage rolling down the drain. And then these massive rats crawl out of the lake, and I’m trying to run away from them but one of them bites down on my hand and won’t let go. I’m screaming for help and running away from this pack of giant rats, that one rat still biting on my hand… and then you come out and suddenly you are talking normal again… and everything calms down, the lake is gone, the rats are gone. And then I look at you and ask “would you prefer to do missions in Taiwan, or Hong Kong, rather than KG?” and then I woke up. So I never knew your answer. Heh."

The Lake

What can wash away my sin?
What can make me whole again?

Point Break

While waiting for my friend at Port Authority, I started praying. I need God. My church needs God. We desperately need God to be so much more than a mask or a figurehead, but to be the Solution. We are always saying we need God but I think we're beginning to forget what we need God for. I couldn't stop crying until I got a text message. Looked up, and there my friend was. I don't know how long she had been sitting there next to me, watching me cry with a Bible in my hand.

Come, Lord Jesus.

Semper sursum

I want to have an encounter with God.
I want my church to have an encounter with God.
I desperately want my church to have an encounter with God.
I want Kyrgyzstan to have an encounter with God.
I want us to get hit so hard that we'll never be the same again.

I want us to be desperately in love, desperately in pursuit, unashamed of our mendicancy. I want us to live like nothing else matters.

Because, really... what else matters?

Endure

I am so tired of the shrill female Mandarin voice coming from my neighbors upstairs, especially when they have long screamfest fights. Makes me want to tear my hair out.

Fumbling in the dark

Life takes so much skill. Lord help me.

Ellipsis

The leaves are not falling
I am not falling
This song is rising
But I am not flying

Rhetorical

I just want to worship with people who want nothing more.
Pray with people for whom prayer is like breathing.
Laugh and eat and hang out with people whose sole desire is to love and serve Jesus.
Talk about life and love and politics and sports with people who love life and care about this world because they are gifts from God.
Cry with people who care about something more than themselves and their immediate circle.

I'm the pastor in a church; why is it so hard to find?
Why am I unable to build such a community?

Lord take the log out of my eye, cut off the right hand that causes me to sin, and touch the coal to my lips. I am unclean.

Lord have mercy

Here we are again. I love it when the Facebook feed shows me pictures of my younger friends and their 7 year old kids.

I'm at a strange place in life. My heart feels 21, but I've been thinking about mortality like a 70 year old. As a side note, pondering oblivion will turn your brain to mush. I don't know how Zen Buddhists do it.

Where's the reset button on this thing called Life?

Mea culpa

Father, please forgive me if I have failed to show mercy or stolen
what was not mine. Forgive me my pride and my desire to be liked.
Forgive me my moral weakness and my lack of integrity.

I want to be like You.

Let's go

It's war. I'm not going to hold myself back anymore.

Running

I rest secure in knowing I gave it my all.

I have nothing more than all You offer me
There is nothing else that's of worth to me

I love You Lord You rescued me
You are all that I want
You're all I need

In Your freedom I will live
In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion
I offer devotion.

I miss you.

You're all I need.