09 septembre 2008

Casting down my golden crowns




To be silent in want--naked in desperation, while keeping the heart
quiet. Wait and claim, faith, not feeling.

So many things of the former life have fallen away. Some I feel like I
ought to pick back up, but I have no idea how. So I don't call and I
don't pick up the phone. It's a lonely time, but it's impossible to
include others. I read my bible and eat my sushi alone, and learn to
be still in failure, both real and perceived. Humility looks a lot
more fun and noble on paper.

I am ever sojourning in a foreign land. Again, it's one thing to read
it, another thing to live it.

I want to be consumed, so that there is no more I, only You. Jesus,
make me the man that You want me to be.

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