Streams of Consciousness

I feel my God calling me, calling me. He says to me, "Shape up, get real with yourself. Is this really who you want to be?" And He does it all with love, but it's with love that is slow and torturous. Because, really, I am in love with Him, but in the way that makes me want to hurt Him for loving me, hurt Him so bad that He'll go away and never want to disturb me again. He does it by showing me brothers who are real with Him, alive with Him, suffer with Him, reminding me that life is better with Him because there simply is no life without Him. Yet there's a little part of me that wants to cuddle with Death...

And I am this little rock in the stream of time that stands still against the current as life passes all around me above me beneath me surrounds me until I am left behind and whittled into a pebble won't You pick me up and skip me across the surface of this life until I arrive at Destiny's doorstep.

Oh no You never let go through the calm and through the storm oh no You never let go in every high and every low oh no You never let go Lord you never let go of me.