I haven't even left yet but I miss her already.

Я вас любил...

Я вас любил: любовь еще, быть может
В душе моей угасла не совсем;
Но пусть она вас больше не тревожит;
Я не хочу печалить вас ничем.
Я вас любил безмолвно, безнадежно,
То робостью, то ревностью томим;
Я вас любил так искренно, так нежно,
Как дай вам бог любимой быть другим.

А.С. Пушкин

Abort, Retry, Fail?

Even without a soundtrack
You'd think it'd be epic
A scream, a cry
Instead, a tightening of the eyes
Flaring of nostrils, flexing of jaw
Speaks more than a massacre
Death just leaves us
Breathless.

And a child shall lead them

Too ashamed to show my face. :(

Custom Concern

The custom concern for the people is
Build up monuments and steeples
To wear out our eyes
I get up just about noon
My head sends a message for me
to reach for my shoes and then walk
Gotta go to work, gotta go to work, gotta have a job
He goes through the parking lot fields
Didn't see no signs that they would yield
And then thought, this'll never end
This'll never end, this'll never stop
Message read on the bathroom wall
Said, "I don't feel at all like I thought."
And we're losing all touch, losing all touch
Building a desert

- Modest Mouse

Grace

Life resolutions:

1. Romans 16.19
2. Joshua 1.6
3. Micah 6.8
4. Isaiah 35.3-4
5. 2 Timothy 2

Because the Spirit of God works in me, and never gives up on me,
I will get there.

God forgive me for being careless with the hearts of your daughters.

<3

CCCNJ, I love you. Manny loves you. Janas loves you.

"Make room in your hearts for us...I said before that you are in our
hearts, to die together and to live together. I am acting with great
boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with
comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy."
(2 Corinthians 7.2-4)

RVW

One day, I woke up
And I wasn't a day older
Just a year behind.

All I have to give to You is love

Oh won't you let me love You more, this is all that I desire.

O brother, where art thou?

Lord, be my satisfaction. The future is so lonely.

Hold fast

Push through, Lord. Be victorious. May all the glory go to you. There is no defeat in Your Kingdom.

I will not fear, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Each time I see my family may be my last.

ARK

Agree, reveal, keep faithful.

LORD TRANSFORM ME. MAKE ME FIT FOR YOUR SERVICE.

There's still time left.

Psalm 32

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.

I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,"
And you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.

Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.
Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

Psalm 69

It's humbling to realize that I am developing an international
reputation, for better or for worse. It is a little scary and puts me
in awe of God as my advocate.

Zhuang Zhi

A wooden puppet was talking to a mud puppet one day. The wooden
puppet said, "I feel sorry for you. For when the rains come, I will
remain, whereas you will fall apart." The mud puppet replied, "It is
you I feel sorry for. For I came from the earth and shall return to
the earth; whereas for you, who knows where you will be swept off to?"

The Rats

"I had the oddest dream that you were in yesterday. Long dream, a lot of weird crazy stuff happened, but you were in one of the scenes. Apparently I was in Taiwan at my house there… and there were TONS of people. Including my DC friends, my college friends, my husband's friends.. and you and your seminary friends. Not that I know your seminary friends, but that’s who they were in the dream. there was one REALLY huge and tall black guy, one short and fat white guy, and this one brunette girl, among others. Anyway, you walk into this one room where your friends were, and you started talking about how powerful you were, and how amazing you are. And then as you talked suddenly your tone took on this almost scary Satanic tone… like in the movies that have demons and Satan, that low scary loud ton they always use for Satan? And then everyone got really scared but you kept talking in that tone… and then your large tall black friend went out of the room and said he needed to unplug a lake. Apparently you all created a lake and it was time to leave so you guys had to unplug the lake. So I’m watching this HUGE whirlpool lake swirling, and all this trash and garbage rolling down the drain. And then these massive rats crawl out of the lake, and I’m trying to run away from them but one of them bites down on my hand and won’t let go. I’m screaming for help and running away from this pack of giant rats, that one rat still biting on my hand… and then you come out and suddenly you are talking normal again… and everything calms down, the lake is gone, the rats are gone. And then I look at you and ask “would you prefer to do missions in Taiwan, or Hong Kong, rather than KG?” and then I woke up. So I never knew your answer. Heh."

The Lake

What can wash away my sin?
What can make me whole again?

Point Break

While waiting for my friend at Port Authority, I started praying. I need God. My church needs God. We desperately need God to be so much more than a mask or a figurehead, but to be the Solution. We are always saying we need God but I think we're beginning to forget what we need God for. I couldn't stop crying until I got a text message. Looked up, and there my friend was. I don't know how long she had been sitting there next to me, watching me cry with a Bible in my hand.

Come, Lord Jesus.

I feel so unprepared.