In a single hour

I can't shake this nagging feeling that the sky is about to fall. We're very close now.

Ash Wednesday

A poem by T.S. Eliott

I

Because I do not hope to turn again
Because I do not hope
Because I do not hope to turn
Desiring this man’s gift and that man’s scope
I no longer strive to strive towards such things
(Why should the agèd eagle stretch its wings?)
Why should I mourn
The vanished power of the usual reign?

Because I do not hope to know
The infirm glory of the positive hour
Because I do not think
Because I know I shall not know
The one veritable transitory power
Because I cannot drink
There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there is
nothing again

Because I know that time is always time
And place is always and only place
And what is actual is actual only for one time
And only for one place
I rejoice that things are as they are and
I renounce the blessèd face
And renounce the voice
Because I cannot hope to turn again
Consequently I rejoice, having to construct something
Upon which to rejoice

And pray to God to have mercy upon us
And pray that I may forget
These matters that with myself I too much discuss
Too much explain
Because I do not hope to turn again
Let these words answer
For what is done, not to be done again
May the judgement not be too heavy upon us

Because these wings are no longer wings to fly
But merely vans to beat the air
The air which is now thoroughly small and dry
Smaller and dryer than the will
Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still.

Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death
Pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

Encore

Easy come, easy go. But it doesn't make it easy.

On a separate note, I don't want to have these weaknesses forever. I don't want my ministry fundamentally handicapped forever. God help me deny myself.

Twisted by knaves to make a trap

http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/0,1518,606323,00.html

Will I suffer the same fate one day, to have my name dragged through the mud for seeking after truth? Not that I agree with much of what Bishop Richardson believes (certainly, I believe that the Holocaust took place), but I echo some of his sentiments in this interview.

Will I be slandered in the same way by people taking my words out of context?

I don't think the question is "will I" or "if I," but "when will the time come?"

God give me the strength to stand on that wicked day. Lord, I am desperate for your mercy. Give me the strength to endure on that wicked day. I do not want to betray you, but my flesh is so weak. God, help me. Give me the strength to stand in this wicked day.

I will hold on to you in faith and let the joy of the Lord be my strength.

------

"If" by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Brioche

To see and not be seen.
Dream and not be dreamt.
Life without consequences is freedom and prison.

Lord, I'm tired of being a paper tiger.

Believe it or not, I am growing

Silly moon.
You shone bright in
the hope of my folly.
-----

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I love to bring Him praise.

Violence: To Break Boundaries

There are terrifyingly intelligent people out there. Even more terrifying are the people who know how to use them, and have the means to employ them, and have a vision to lead them towards.

"The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him."
-N. Machiavelli

God is my first and last defense against the terror that is human nature. Good thing that He's real, and not just a conjecture.

Battle Royale

On my knees
You lay the truth bare
Strip away the veil
Strip it naked
I want the truth.

Save me from my persecutors.
Deliver me from these evil ones who assail me.
Forgive me for opening the door.
I was so stupid.

------

A thousand may fall at your side
Ten thousand at your right hand
But it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes
And see the punishment of the wicked.

(Psalm 91.7-8)