So sick of soup

I want God so much for myself, my church, my world, that it hurts. And
yet the task is so daunting, and my hands are so empty.

Twelve basketfuls. Faith is not faith unless it is held on to in the
midst of a crisis. Love is not love until it hurts to love. Loyalty is
not loyalty unless it costs something to stay loyal.

I want to be a good and faithful servant, despite my traitor heart.

This... is... Sparta...

I don't like conflict.  I really don't like to be misunderstood.  But that's just how it's going to be, and the fight will never end.  I know it's worth it, but I just have to live it consistently.

Rein it in.  Even if everybody around me wants to throw the baby out with the bathwater and play zero sum games.

Brace for impact

We who sit in darkness plead to You: Lord, please heal our land. The
storm is coming and we have no rudder.

Too many ideals to choose from

I'm so far away. Need to recenter.

A longing for a world with cleaner aesthetics and simpler sensibilities.

Shema

I woke up one morning and found a 4" gash.

Tried to sterilize it with bourbon.

Tried to preoccupy it with distractions.

Tried to teach myself to live with it.

And now I'm just asking.

Because 75 years is at once a breath and a very long time, and it feels exactly the same, all around the world.

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שְׁמַ֖ע יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל יְהוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֵ֖ינוּ יְהוָ֥ה ׀ אֶחָֽד׃

וְאָ֣הַבְתָּ֔ אֵ֖ת יְהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑יךָ בְּכָל־לְבָבְךָ֥ וּבְכָל־נַפְשְׁךָ֖ וּבְכָל־מְאֹדֶֽךָ׃

A boy can dream...

Of course I have $600 to spend on a meal for myself. Obviously. Though I have to say, if there's a place to blow $600, it'd be the French Laundry.

I need a sugar mama and a plane ticket to Napa.

Three principles against the fear of man

A pastor incarnates the Shepherd to the flock.

A pastor lifts up the needs of the flock to the Shepherd.

A pastor faithfully gives the word of the Shepherd to the flock.

God will not be mocked

I originally wrote this in an email to Carol, but decided to post this up on here for posterity's sake. Because my memory is bad like that.

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I always laugh when people say they wish they could read minds. The burden can be so heavy sometimes... even when it's heavy joy. I wonder how Jesus was able to carry everything on his narrow human shoulders when he was on the cross.

Thank you Lord for the empty tomb.