Truths to bank a life upon

"How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the waves of his love and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am aware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
-----

My God is so good even when I'm not.
His heart is so warm when I am so cold.
His dreams are so wide when my vision is so narrow.
He stands in might, my refuge, my rock.

Your love endures forever

Lord, you are so good.
A cleansing stream of mercy.
A refuge from my enemies.
Shalom for my heart,
Your arm is not too short to save.
I praise you above all others.

Every beat with increasing pain

I'm holding on your rope
Got me 10 feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound.

It hit me today how badly I want to be one of them. Why do I feel like crying? (rhetorical)

Twice the fun I never had

I see my happiness
Written across the screen
As clear as the Twin Towers
Whence has it gone, this distant past?

-----



The weeping willow weeps no more
Her tears stripped dry by last night's gale
In stoic nakedness she stands
No time for grief; winter is coming.

From the lips of a life that hangs in the balance

And I've died a thousand dreams
And lived a thousand lies
And eaten the bread of mockery
And drunk the wine of fools

And I've seen the blind man suffer
For want of wisdom or friend
Though he cried out for justice or succour
My feet would not dare to move

Yet He prepares a table before me
Though I hang my head for the axe
And His joy longs to fill me
Though I fill my cup with bile

His love is never ceasing
His love is never ceasing
His love is never ceasing
His love is never ceasing.

An edifice to be scrubbed away

"Come now
Let us reason together,"

says the Lord.

"Though your sins were as
scarlet
They shall be
as white as snow."

Oil and Water

She makes me want to be better than I am, and pushes me to be uncompromising in my holistic pursuit of God. All without saying a word.

Nobody's done that for me before.

Carol's Poem

Cherries are not my favorite fruit
but I will eat them because you say
they're good for me.
I savor each bite as my teeth
tear into the flesh
and let my tongue playfully fish out the
seed inside.
And as I pretend I actually like this,
smiling as you watch me eat
red berries that grow on trees
I am waiting for you to leave
so I can fulfill my dream
of drinking milk.

Astigma

If seeing is believing
Then my astigmatic eyes refuse to believe
Those horizontal lies you tell.
It's not that I'm unkind
or wary.
It's just that your words stretch out so far
That they no longer register
And all I can see
Is that which stands upright.

One hand clapping sounds a lot like futility.

I keep leaving, and people keep leaving me.

To be of good courage

Should I dare to hope?

Someday

Someday I will be proud of myself.
Someday the man in the mirror will not flinch away.
Someday I will feel like I deserve my own respect.
Someday. Not today. But one day...

What're housing prices like in Montreal?

Moving to Canada sounds attractive right about now.

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

Pretty, pretty on the fence,
In your pretty moment of innocence,
You do not see that I see inside,
The quiet heart you’re trying to hide.

Don’t hold your head too high,
Don’t be afraid to cry,
Because you know my dear, it’s only fear, it’s only fear,
Yes my dear,
Do you hear,
It’s only fear, only fear, it’s only fear,
Yes it’s only fear, only fear, it’s only fear,
Keeps you locked in here.

Now you may believe you are so bright,
And you may not see how they confine your sight,
And maybe you wake up late at night,
Wondering why you feel so tired,
Well my dear, let me tell you now,
Do you hear,
It’s only fear, only fear, it’s only fear,
Yes it’s only fear, only fear, it’s only fear,
Yes it’s only fear, only fear, it’s only fear,
That keeps you locked in here.

- Alexi Murdoch, "It's Only Fear"

Taking all the fun out of schadenfreude

Am I proud of myself? Maybe the better question is if I'll ever be proud of myself.